Crying is for whimps!

Watching a cheesy Lifetime movie. Watching the woman cry over her humiliation. I never cried except for out of frustration. I left it all there and tried to move on. I wonder if all of that denial is what is eating out my stomach. I stuffed it and stuffed it until I didn't realize that there was anything left to feel. I killed that old self by denial and rejections. Now, I am paying for so many crimes that I commit against myself. But, I continue on with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Isn't that what a good Christian does? Here, at my parents, I relive my childhood. It is like I'm stuck in a karmic loop. How do I break free? The answer, as cheesy as it may seem is love. Totally selfless love. I don't think anyone has loved me like that except for my mom when I was a baby.